Blog about fog

When I was a lot younger than I am today, I remember driving my Austin 1100 - a thing of unparalleled beauty - outside Dagenham Heathway tube station. I remember it because I was hoping to drive home to Seven Kings but I was handicapped because looking through the windscreen I could not see the far end of the front wing. I washed the windscreen. Made little difference. Tried driving with my head stuck outside the window (I was more flexible then) and found that was sufficient to proceed at up to a heady 6 mph. I would have had an assistant walking in front of me with a red flag, but I couldn't see the assistant.

These were the days of Motorway Madness, where the tabloids were prone to publish stories. Even the BBC had stories about it. Such as this https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/school-radio/articles/zhsd47h

My father was a road safety guru and one of his things at the time was the daftness of the government advice at the time. I can quote from one of his films (sadly lost), where he was campaigning for people to ise dipped headlights in fog rather than sidelights. In the clip he showed a car with sidelights on 'the dark shape of the approaching car can be clearly seen well before the sidelights emerge from the fog'. The car with headlights on was visible well before the 'dark shape'.

At the time I was working for the Ford Motor Company in Brentwood (Brent is a big feature of my life) and my job as an undergraduate trainee at the time was about forecasting the sale of options. It was a very sophisticated analysis. I looked at the sale of optional wheel trims (amongst other options) in the countries of the UK and EFTA and the EEC. If 7% of Escorts in Norway had trims in 1970 and 8% in 1971, I was told to predict it would rise to 8.5% in 1972. If it was 6% in 1971 then I would predict 6% again in 1972. AI eat your heart out, we had it all covered back then.

I was (some things don't change) an avid reader of car magazines back then and I had seen stories about rear fog lights being a new accessory which people should fit to deter the Motorway Madmen. And I suppose Motorway Madwomen as well because madness is not strictly gentered.

I was hoping to find an advert by Lucas (celebrated for its reliability as the Prince of Darkness) but could only find this one for the rather upmarket looking number from Lumax

Anyway, eager young chap that I was, when my boss asked if there were any new options we should be offering I suggested a rear fog light. I was greeted with some funny looks and eyes turned towards Warley Hospital: the local loony bin (I know, it's politically incorrect but is what we called mental hospitals in 1972). They did not take my suggestion seriously and Ford did not participate in the impending boom in sales of rear fog lights. Perhaos they thought I had been infected with Motorway Madness.

Fool as I certainly was, the fashion to have rear fog lights became a legal requirement at least by 1989. When they started to be widespread it drove me crazy because some idiots (I mean cautious and safety conscious individuals) decided they should have them lit at all times irrespective of the presence of fog, mist, rain or snow. Driving home down the M1 every day I was dazzled by these blinking things (unfortunately they never blinked) every day in the winter. This fad seems to have passed, like the hula hoop.

My impression is that we almost never get what I would describe as fog any more. Clean air regulations have had their effect and whilst visibility is sometimes hindered by mist I can't remember when I last saw what I would describe as fog in London.

Until last Friday. I started in Oban (to be fair, that is not London) and proceeded through the southern fringe of the Scottish Highlands and on towards Lancashire. There was real fog in Scotland! Well, not 'proper' fog like we used to get in London but sufficient for me to wonder how to turn the rear fog lights on in my (fairly) modern motor car. I was actually not sure whether there was one fitted and whether it turned on automatically as so many things do these days. By the time I stopped to consult the Owners Manual, the fog had cleared, so the mystery remains.

If you think fog has infested my brain, you are probably right. Anyway, I have the right to publish rubbish and I assert that right, like your right to ignore it.